{Warning the post ahead may not make any sense}

If I wasn't sure of it before, I certainly am now. When I found out something horrifying, I did something I had never done before - I actually prayed. I didn't get down on my hands and knees but I closed my eyes in the silence and prayed to whoever may be listening, if any deity or whatever was up in the sky, in the ground or hiding in my wardrobe. Now I'm agnostic, but still if you pray to a God or whatever and you believe for a moment that maybe something could be listening, maybe could help or do something to alter a course that is wrong, then okay, maybe they'd cut you some slack for being a non-believer every other day of the year and your life. I begged, pleaded and cried my eyes out, whispering repeatedly, "Protect her. Keep her safe. I don't care what that sacrifices for me as long as she is okay."

Something selfless like that should be answered by the Almighty in Heaven, yes? Or the many Gods from Egypt or some crap? If I truly believed in that moment that he or they could help, then, according to religion, it should have worked, right?

I've lost all possible hope in religion. It does some good for people but not for me. She wasn't safe. She was left to suffer...agonisingly. I'd love for the Pope to explain this to me because then I'd take the bullshit he'd tell me and cram it write back up his arse where he pulled it from.