Just...had to write this before I went crazy lol

Run a razor across my heart,
Purge it of the poison inside.

Wipe it clean and
tape it up.
Leave it to mend on its own.

Something pure will beat again
for her, and her alone.

The beast is caged and locked away;
I fear its escape and control.

Help...
...someone stop this frightful envy.

It's making me something ugly.


___________________________________________________

Okay...glad that's out of my system. And now to get this out of my system:

I want to kiss her...I want her to feel everything, every ounce of love that I hold for her...if not by a kiss, then my God, I'll show her through a hug...anything...I just want her to feel it, to know just how deeply this runs...to know that giving her the world would never be enough; that I'd give her her every desire and happiness if I could do so, even if it meant in exchange for my own, because I'm happy when she's around anyway...I just...want to show her so very, very badly...and I have this terrible fear I may never be able to kiss her, if only just once...I don't care about having sex, no matter how wonderful it sounds or whatever {it's something I've lived without thus far and I haven't died}. I just want to give her one kiss where she feels it all...I know it won't do anything, but...I feel that if I don't, someday, the overwhelming amount of adoration and love that I feel for her will just be too much and I'll just burst...sometimes it certainly feels that my heart surely will. Personally, there would be no greater happiness than to simply be close to her and I despise that I was born here and not there.

I look forward to her visit here and would love to get a job very soon so that I could save money to go there, which I'm sure she'd like too. I know she probably won't be very happy with what I've said so far {though I've been wrong before too lol} but I felt I needed to say it. I long to trace her soft cheeks, to see those incredible, beautiful eyes for myself, to hear that adorable giggle in all its glory, to be dazzled by how the light catches her hair, to marvel at her empathy and intelligence, to hold her and receive a hug filled with such warmth that I would gladly drown in it. I know that I may never kiss her, but I don't mind, even if I'd love that beyond all types of expression. As long as I can hug her...as long as I can do that, I'm happy. And I mean it.

I'll do my best to bring the Heavens and all its sparkling diamonds to you, my Selene.

Note: I apologise if this was sickening or upsetting to read...I just wanted it out before it became something really ugly inside of me. *hugs* I know you'll understand what I mean.